Becoming a parent is one of those big moments in life from which there is no going back. Fortunately for many adults, a planned trip into parenthood is largely a joy and its own adventure.
It’s also ridiculously hard, and can cause you to reexamine who you are, what’s important to you, and how you want to live your life. This can be especially true for women.
In her May 2017 New York Times article, The Birth of A Mother, psychiatrist, Alexandra Sacks, wrote, “most mothers [after the birth of a child] also experience worry, disappointment, guilt, competition, frustration, and even anger and fear.”
Sacks, goes on to say that during the postpartum period, which can last for two years, many women “find themselves feeling lost somewhere between who they were before motherhood and who they think they should be now.”
For me, this period of early motherhood did in fact come with an identity crisis and rollercoaster of emotions that held none of the fun of an actual ride. Who was I if I wasn’t out running technical trails, skiing big lines, exploring new rivers and mountains? My body, which had always been athletic and strong, felt slow and awkward. My stomach, unsurprisingly, was soft, but so was my butt. I was self conscious and embarrassed. And I was tired. Really tired.
From the beginning, I’ve loved each of my three children with a ferocity and fullness that has surprised me. They are my heart walking around on their own feet. And while my children are not my whole world, my world would be shattered without them. Yet.
Yet. There is more to me than being a mother. When I forget that I am worse for it, and I believe so are they.
There are thousands of articles in pop culture and academia about self-care and its ramifications for motherhood. Good maternal self-care is associated with increased positive outcomes for infants and children, as well as lower incidences of stress, depression and anxiety for mothers.
Self care comes in all shapes and sizes. It could be a long bath, a shopping trip, a night out. For me, it’s a run regardless of the weather. A hike, a ski tour. It’s fresh air and working hard. It’s adventure—be it backyard or big days.
With that in mind, here are my five best suggestions based on my experience for mommas looking to climb back on the adventure horse after the birth of a child.
Last two photos courtesy of Gabe and Joanna Boisseau.